The birthday cake

Hope you don't feel ripped off. It was a really busy day; therefore, a post mostly in pictures.

Today's To Do list.

 Making the birthday cake was on yesterday's list, and I did actually do it late last night. I ran out of time to do the frosting, so I had to do that first thing this morning before I could deliver it.

How I imagined the cake would look when finished.

How I imagined my best friend's reaction.

The small pressurized cans of white writing icing seemed like a great way to go for the cute and funny lettering. I never realized how difficult they are to actually use.

The actual cake. Note the unique calligraphy and artwork.

The art in the corner was originally a smiley face, but it looked so spastic I tried to turn it into a balloon. I then realized it looked less like a balloon and more like a smiley face sperm. At that point I just gave up.

Happy birthday. Here's your sperm cake!

Requisite Awkward Post

The first time is kind of awkward, am I right?

I mean, you don't know me, and I don't know you, yet here we are, just the two of us.

Do I just jump right in, or do we exchange pleasantries and small talk for a bit? Should I give you time to get to know me first? I really don't want to come on too strong or scare you away...

In order to keep you away from my crazy for at least a post or two, I guess I'll do a very generic "What I Do With My Free Time" list. I can save the story about the job I had requiring me to wear a Hello Kitty costume. You probably don't need to hear about my Dilaudid fueled hospital rant. The anecdote about how I desperately wanted to be a witch and tried to contact the spirit world when I was nine probably isn't appropriate for a new relationship like ours just yet, either.

So here goes.

Today's To Do List

"What I Do With My Free Time"

1. Watch T.V. Netflix is my very best friend.
2. Drink coffee. I drink way more than I should* and I'm constantly giving myself little pep talks to cut it out and drink more water. Detoxify my body and all that crap. These pep talks generally occur when I'm in bed, trying to fall asleep. Then morning comes and I realize that 12:00 a.m. me is a complete idiot.
3. Contemplate showering. For so many reasons**.
4. Make lists. Lists bring order unto chaos. 
5. Talk to myself. I am at home most of the day with just the animals. I could say that I am talking out loud to them, but I won't lie to you. I talk to myself and ignore them. They don't understand English.
6. Stress about things. I have a specific type of stressing*** that has served me since childhood.
7. Avoid responsibility. I hate returning important phone calls, running errands, grocery shopping, paying bills, talking to people in public, pumping gas....you get the idea. Again with the stress.

I'm sure you have lots of questions now. Or maybe you don't. I have a hard time guessing what other people are thinking. Maybe you're bored and want to go eat a sandwich. I can't blame you.

Me, dressed as Hello Kitty

* When compared to the average coffee drinking adult, I probably consume fewer ounces of coffee per day than most. I have (issues-conditions-problems) that are exacerbated by caffeine, yet I can't stop. It's my hair shirt.

**More (i-c-p's) that I will go into later. But I do seriously stress about showering. Before you completely freak out, I do shower every day. I'm not some dirty hippie stinky patchouli wearing freak (I mean no offense, I really do love all peoples. But I won't hug you. Sorry.)

***Does it seem like stress is a recurring factor in my life? I was an expert at it even as a small child.

Happy singing birds chirp the gospel of coffee.

Mr. Tiger is pleased with your choice of today's brew.